Forgive an Old Man’s Tears – and Thank You for the Years.

I was living in Edinburgh at the time of my story. Christmas was upon us, and I had popped into Bins, a rather smart store at the west end of Princess Street. I was searching for something a bit special for mum’s Christmas present, always difficult.

Mum loved flowers, in the garden and in the house, as did I, so when I spotted a display of Edinburgh Crystal, I was drawn to it, for in the display was a large flower vase, the perfect gift, for it would hold long stem flowers, such as Chrysanthemums.

Flower display doesn’t seem to be my thing

Since I would not be with mum on Christmas Day, I travelled over on Christmas Eve with her present now in a very large box. Mum was like a small child once more, and although I told her:

“Not to be opened until Christmas”

Already the paper was being ripped from the package.

“I hope its something nice and not some old vase”

Of course, it was not old but a new vase, mum tried to retract her words in an apology and give the vase her full attention and drooled over its beauty, but that magical moment had passed, replaced by silent embarrassment.

Mum died on the 13th of June 2006 at St. Luke’s Hospital Bradford, and when I emptied the contents of her home I kept the crystal vase, and every year in memorial to my mother’s life, I fill the vase with flowers, today is the 13th of October.

When I want to have you near me,

I stand in this quiet place,

With the silver light of countless stars,

Falling on my face,

They all shine so brightly,

And it comforts me to know,

That the ones that shine the brightest,

Died a long, long time ago,

Your love still shines – it’s one small star to guide me – helping me hold back the dark – your light still shining in my heart.

Keep safe   


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